i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize