Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
