3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
