It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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