Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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