KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
