In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
