Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
