Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
