are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
