so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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