it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
