The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
