Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
