i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
