No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
