if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
