Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
