why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize