this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
