The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
