i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
