Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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