dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and she was petting her beer can
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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