Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
