i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She bit a glass in half.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize