is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
