Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
