Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize