i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
