She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
