went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
