I heard we made out
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize