We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
