After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
