there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
