I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
