he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize