the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
