If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
