Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
