Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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