The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
