If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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