you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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