where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
