I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
