Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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