she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish i was in the wii world.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize