Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He did a backflip because drugs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
