So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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