yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
