just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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