She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
