im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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