I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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