I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize