Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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