AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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