batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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