Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
