Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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