After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
