I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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