yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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