We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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