you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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