I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
