i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
