Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
