i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
