It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize